Maturity is the goal of life. Spiritual growth and maturity are one and the same thing. You may not agree with this statement, but you would at least admit that you must grow mature as you get older. That’s how we bear fruit as human beings.
As Jordan Peterson said, “There is nothing uglier than an old infant.”
So what makes someone mature? Here are 7 characteristics of a mature person.
1. They Are Givers, Not Takers
This world is full of people who use you and try to take something from you.
But mature people are givers in this world. They are givers in all their relationships; whether it’s marriage, friendships, or business relationships such as customers and coworkers.
Here’s the ultimate sign that you’re a giver; You help those who can do nothing for you. And you don’t oppress those who can do nothing to you, vulnerable people.
J.K. Rowling said “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals”
2. They delay gratification
Sigmund Freud observed, “Maturity is the ability to postpone gratification.”
That’s what Jordan Belfort learned the hard way. In case you don’t know him, he’s the infamous former stockbroker who inspired the film “The Wolf of Wall Street.”
Belfort could’ve easily become a billionaire had he not made short-sighted decisions early on based on his constant need for instant gratification. Now he has a net worth of -100 million (that’s negative, in case you’re wondering.)
He later said in one interview, “Good things take time. There were some moves I made that made me a lot of money in the short term, but then created problems for me over the long term… I was the majority shareholder of Steve Madden shoes. If I had not had all that problem from all the stuff I did earlier, I would’ve made 700m – 1 billion just from [the Steve Madden] deal.”
3. They Grow bigger than Their problems
They don’t run away from problems or try to get rid of problems, they grow bigger than the problems they’re facing.
T Harv Eker said “Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems.” I think that also applies to mature and immature people.
Problems don’t discourage you. When you face a problem, you grow bigger than it and learn to manage it well.
In one of his sermons, pastor Rick Warren said “God never puts on you more than he puts in you.” You’ll never face a problem that’s too big to handle.
4. They Bounce Back Quickly
Mature people learn from their mistakes and don’t think of mistakes and setbacks as the end of the world. They have the mindset of “I either win or I learn. I only fail if I quit.”
One of my favorite quotes is by Winston Churchill: “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It’s the courage to continue that count.”
Bestselling author Maxwell Maltz wrote, “You make mistakes, mistakes don’t make you.” (as you can tell, I love quoting people.)
A mature person picks himself up and dusts himself off, takes time to heal, and then moves on.
5. They Know That They Don’t Know Everything
Time humbles you. Mature people know that they know very little if anything. That’s why Socrates said “All I know is that I know nothing,” and he knew more than most people!
6. They Live in The PRESENT Moment
You accept the present moment as it is and work with it. They serve the present moment to the best of their capabilities. They don’t live in the past or the future.
7. They take Full Responsibility for Their Lives
Of all the habits here so far, this is the most important one. Mature people don’t blame others. They don’t blame circumstances. They don’t blame God or fate. They take full responsibility for where they are in life and the level of freedom they have.
It’s clear to mature people that they are where they are today because of the decisions they made yesterday.
As the great Jim Rohn said, “The day you graduate from childhood to adulthood is the day you take full responsibility for your life.”
Conclusion
The 7 habits that all mature people have are contribution, discipline, growing through problems, resilience, humility, mindfulness, and responsibility. These are few of the habits that mature people develop.
In your opinion, what’s one habit that’s been left out of this list? Comment below.
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